


I Thought About Solving Our Problems With Alcohol But Decided to Level Up Instead

by srmiller



Series: Emotionally Stunted But Working On It [2]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, College, Established Relationship, M/M, bffs harper and miller because that's a thing now, minty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-05
Updated: 2016-09-05
Packaged: 2018-08-12 22:32:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,925
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7951753
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/srmiller/pseuds/srmiller
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Monty thinks wanting his boyfriend of more than a year to say something other than "oh" when he professes his love for the first time isn't high maintenance, it's basic decency, but when Nate does exactly that Monty has to rethink the relationship he thought was going to be his last relationship.</p><p>Meanwhile, Miller knows he fucked up, he doesn't need Harper to tell him that but she does anyway.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Thought About Solving Our Problems With Alcohol But Decided to Level Up Instead

Nate was the only person Monty had ever met who said more with his facial expressions than his actual words.

It might have been the ‘strong silent type’ cliché which had initially drawn Monty to the beanie-and-smirk-wearing friend of a friend but after they’d gotten together it had caused Monty an incalculable amount of stress never knowing exactly what his boyfriend was thinking.

Was Nate mad because of something Monty had done, or was he just mad in general because of someone, or something, else? And when it came to the big emotions, the big steps in their relationship it had always been Monty who had balled up his courage and risked humiliation by suggesting they be exclusive or meet each other’s families.

It had been Monty who had braved the large and looming eight letters first by saying ‘I love you’ and it had been Monty who had walked out when Miller had only replied with “Oh.”

After he had walked away Monty had been determined not to fret over it but he was pretty bad, generally speaking, at letting things lie. If there was a way to fix something, he wanted to do it, so he texted Clarke during a break between classes and when he found out she was in one of the private study rooms he made a b-line to the library with the hopes of guidance and wisdom.

“I need relationship advice.”

Clarke looked up as he dropped into the seat across from her and for a second the ring on her left hand winked in the light. It was weird, thinking of Clarke and Bellamy as _engaged_ , no one had even known they were dating so finding out all of the sudden they had committed to each other for the rest of their lives was beyond his abilities to comprehend in less than a month.

But it made sense, however weird it was, because there was something about Clarke and Bellamy which fit and that’s why he was coming to her for advice instead of anyone else he knew.

“Why, are you and Miller fighting?”

Monty sighed and he absently wondered if maybe some of Jasper’s theatrics was rubbing off on him. “No, we’re not fighting. I wish we were because then I’d at least know what he was thinking. I’m thinking of finding a truth serum, or maybe getting him drunk. He talks more when he’s drunk.”

Clarke snorted, “I don’t think that’s the way it works, Monty.”

“Not everyone is like you and Bellamy,” Monty complained and pulled out one of his books because it was a library and he felt as if he should at least look like he was working.

Her eyes went sharp as she looked at him. “What do you mean?”

Monty shrugged. “You guys talk. I mean, even when you’re fighting you guys are still communicating.” Deciding if he was going to make an idiot of himself asking for relationship advice he might as well throw the rest of his pride at her feet. “How do you know he loves you? Does he say it?”

“No,” Clarke admitted but the way she said it made Monty think she was managing to hide a secret in a single word. “But I’m not you, I guess I don’t need to hear it.”

Monty groaned because he didn’t want to be the kind of person who needed to hear it. It made him feel clingy and needy and a little too much like Jasper who needed constant validation about nearly everything. No, Monty decided. He didn’t need to hear it, he _wanted_ to hear it, but that still counted, didn’t it? “Then how do you know?”

“God, Monty.”

“Humor me, I’m having a crisis.”

“I know because he takes care of me,” she answered. “Because he knows how to take care of me and only someone who loves you knows how to do that because they care enough to pay attention. If I’m having a bad day he knows when to call me on it or when to leave it alone, when I need him to hold me and when to give me my space.”

“Is that why you love him? Because he takes care you?” Monty asked and he wasn’t sure why this was suddenly so important, it wasn’t as if Clarke and Bellamy’s relationship was in any way comparable to his and Nate’s but maybe if he could understand one it would help him understand the other.

Clarke just gave him a look.

“What? It’s not like you guys are getting married just because the sex is good.”

“Monty,” and because it sounded like she was going to evade Monty attempted a pleading look which had worked on Nate more than once in the past.

Clarke sighed. “The first time I ever called him it was after a fight with my mom. He asked me why the hell I was calling him and I told him he was the first person in my contact list which was sort of true. I’d been crying, I could barely see, but the moment I came across his name this sort of calm came over me. When I heard his voice I knew, no matter what happened, everything would be okay and that’s been true ever since. I guess that’s why I love him, because everything is going to be okay as long as Bellamy is there.”

“Even the apocalypse?” Monty asked skeptically.

Clarke laughed and then Bellamy came in and since he thought he might have gotten what he came for he put his book back in his bag and headed out. Besides, from the look on Bellamy’s face Monty doubted things were going to stay PG for long and he did not need to be around that.

Heading back to his dorm to wait for his next class Monty decided that, like Clarke, he knew the moment Nate had gone from being someone he knew to Someone. At first he’d thought, yeah that guys attractive, and he vividly remembered the first time he’d seen Nate smile and Monty had been so stunned he was pretty sure he’d been dazed for days afterwards, but the moment emotions had gotten involved had happened not long after he’d met Nate-and he’d still been _Miller_ to him then.

They’d been hanging out at Bellamy’s apartment, Monty having been dragged by Jasper and Clarke, and to this day Monty couldn’t remember what had made Jasper so pissed, but he’d been the kind of anger which couldn’t be reasoned with and even still, Monty had tried.

Monty always tried.

But it hadn’t been enough, or it hadn’t been the right kind of enough. Whatever it was he’d done wrong had made Jasper slam down his drink and walk out and Monty could remember how he’d felt a little hollowed out at not being able to make things right.

He was about to get up and go after Jasper when Nate had settled down in the chair next to him, put one dark hand on his shoulder and met Monty’s gaze with a kind of steadiness Monty had craved in that moment.

“You’re a good friend,” and it was said so simply and confidently Monty couldn’t help but believe him.

Throughout the rest of the night Nate had stayed close, bringing Monty drinks and making sure he got involved in the games. It was the kind of caretaker role Monty usually held and it had been the best feeling in the world to have someone else take the weight from his shoulders and be there for him for once.

What was it Clarke had said? _Only someone who loves you knows how to do that because they care enough to pay attention_ , and it would seem Nate had been paying attention since the beginning.

Walking into his dorm room, Monty dropped his bags on the floor and all but flung himself onto his bed.

But he hadn’t said anything, had he? Nate had taken care of him that first night and had been there for him without ever saying a word so maybe it was unfair of Monty to expect him to say those words now.

After all, he’d fallen for Nate for who he was and it seemed selfish, not to mention hypocritical, to try and change him now so Monty could either be upset Nate couldn’t give him what he wanted or he could learn to find the things he needed in the man he loved.

Like the time Monty had gotten a delivery of the most gorgeous roses he’d ever seen in his life while doing work study in the computer lab. Wick had asked if Nate had something to apologize for and Monty had told him no, “At least not that I know of.”

Wick then grumbled about how Nate was making everyone look bad and when Monty had taken a picture to put on SnapChat with the caption “MY BOYFRIEND IS BETTER THAN YOURS” Clarke had responded with heart eyes emoji and “omg miller is such a sap.”

Monty had smiled for the rest of the week.

Maybe, Monty realized with a groan, Miller had been saying ‘I love you’ long before Monty had said the words out loud and he just hadn’t been listening.

_####################_

Nate had to go to work right after Monty had walked out looking someone had just shot him. Or, knowing Monty like he did, looking like someone had shot his best friend. “Dude.”

Closing his eyes so he didn’t have to see Harper’s abject look of disappointment Nate leaned his back on the plastic seat of the booth he was sitting in. “I know.”

“ _Dude.”_

Nate glared at his friend as she sat down across from him. Absently he wondered if she had told her boss she was going on a break of if she was just going to make fun of him until an actual customer showed at the diner where she worked at part time. “ _I know._ ”

“You bit down. Hard.”

“You’re not helpful.”

“I don’t know why you thought I’d be,” she smirked. “But since you’re my friend and you look pitiful I’ll try. So, Monty said I love you and you said ‘oh.’”

“I don’t need a recap, I was there.”

“I’m just making sure I have the facts right,” Harper assured him but there was way too much humor in her voice for him to take her seriously. “And then he left, and you didn’t try to stop him?”

“I was too busy banging my head on the wall and repeating ‘shit’ to myself.”

“You’re a disaster.”

“I know.” He slouched in the booth, his foot accidentally kicking hers under the table. “What would you do if you were me?”

“It doesn’t matter what I’d do,” she reminded him. “I’m not the one dating Monty. At least, not in this universe.”

“You better not be dating him in any universe,” Nate threatened but there wasn’t any heat to it because, honestly, he could see it. Different world, different lives? Yeah, Monty could use someone like her who was the kind of strong unafraid to be soft.

“Hey,” she reached over and squeezed his hand once. “He loves you.”

“I know, that’s why I’m here. Remember the recap?”

Harper laughed and moved around the table so she was sitting next to him, resting her head on his shoulder with the kind of easy affection which had frankly always baffled him. “No, I mean he loves _you._ Whatever you’re thinking, you need to remember he picked you for a reason, he chose to love you for a reason, and it’s because he likes you for who you are.”

“Who I am just fucked up the biggest moment in the most important relationship I’ve ever had.”

“Yeah,” she agreed, moving her head so she could look at him. “But who you are wants to fix it, and that’s what important. Just because things got screwed up doesn’t mean they have to stay screwed up.”

They sat together quietly for a minute but Nate knew Harper would have to go back to work soon. Her boss was pretty cool, all things considered, but she couldn’t just hang out with his dumbass the rest of the afternoon.

“How long have you and Monty been dating? Like a year, right?”

A year, two months, and a handful of days Nate corrected mentally but nodded. “It was a year in August.”

“You and Brian were together for a long time.”

“Not really,” Nate corrected. “It was a couple of years but most of it was long distance and I don’t know how much of that counted.”

“Did you ever tell him you loved him?”

“Yeah,” he leaned forward and rested his arms on the tabletop. “But it was different with him. We just sort of expected less of each other, but I want to be more with Monty. I want more _with_ Monty.”

“Then get more. And when you make up with Monty, just know I’m out there in the world thinking ‘I told you so.’”

“You didn’t tell me anything, you’ve been the opposite of helpful this entire time. I’ve had to do it all myself.”

“Exactly,” she kissed his cheek and smiled as she got up from the bench. “Go, and I’ll talk to you tomorrow Nate.”

“Bye,” he grumbled and dragged himself out of the booth and to his car.

He needed to go see Monty, but it was late in the day so he could be eating or hanging out with Jasper or studying in the library and Nate did feel like wandering all over campus trying to track him down. If he texted Monty, there was the chance he wouldn’t reply. Maybe he’d ignore the text, or maybe Monty would put him off till later, and Nate didn’t want to take the risk of them going to bed with things left undone.

Pulling out his phone he scrolled through his contacts and waited as the phone rang in his ear.

“Miller?” Clarke answered.

“Why the hell are my friends calling you?” Nate heard Bellamy ask in the background.

“Because I’m cooler than you are,” Clarke called back. “What can I do for you?”

There was something about her voice which was a little too cool. “Monty talked to you.”

“We saw each other at the library,” she admitted. “He wasn’t specific but I could tell something happened.”

“Yeah, I was a dick. Look, I need to make things right but if I call him…do you know where he is? Is he at his dorm or the library?”

There’s silence for a full five seconds. “He’s at the dorm.”

“Thank you.”

“You’re not going to hurt my friend, are you?”

“Not if I can help it.”

She seemed to believe him because she wished him good luck before hanging up as Nate put his car into drive and found his way to Monty’s dorm where he, thankfully, got a single room this year which meant Nate wouldn’t have to work around Jasper’s presence.

He understood Jasper was Monty’s best friend, but holy hell he could be a nuisance.

Once he found a parking space, Nate parked and started working out what he was going to say as he made the short walk to Monty’s dorm. It was hard, when words didn’t come easily for him, but he thought maybe if he just tried to be honest the right words would come to him when he needed.

 _Fuck_ , he honestly couldn’t imagine going through this much turmoil for anyone but Monty.

Walking into the brick building as a group of students walked out he took the stairs to the second floor and knocked twice before waiting what felt like a brief eternity for the door to open.

When Monty turned the knob it was slowly and Nate knew he must have checked to see who was there before answering.

He’d hoped the words would be there, and looking at Monty now, with apprehension and doubt in his eyes the truth was suddenly the easiest thing in the world. “I’m sorry.”

“You’re sorry for what?” Monty challenged as he crossed his arms in the doorway like he wasn’t ready to let Nate inside just yet.

“I’m sorry I’m not what you deserve.”

Monty sighed and threw up his hands. “How am I supposed to stay mad when you say shit like that? _Honestly._ ”

Nate smiled, there was no way he could have held it back with Monty looking exasperated at his inability to stay mad. “Can we talk? Can I come in?”

“Yeah,” he pushed the door open and walked into the closet sized space he called his own. It was a geek’s space for sure, with its nice TV and crappy furniture but there were plants crowding the various game consoles and Nate knew he took as much pride in taking care of the various plants as he did the electronics.

“So what did yo-“

“I love you too.”

Nate blurted it out because he was marginally afraid if he didn’t say right then he might not get the courage to say it later, but there wasn’t any kind of relief on Monty’s face. There was no look of adoration or happiness, his face was just…blank.

“Nate,” he started and there was something about the way Monty said his name which made him panic. “You don’t have to say it if you don’t mean it. I don’t _want_ you to say it if you don’t mean it.”

Nate stepped forward, suddenly feeling as if it was urgently important to get Monty to understand and he could kick himself for ever making Monty doubt how much he was loved.

“I mean it,” Nate reached out to frame Monty’s face. “I should have said it a long time ago, like our first date or the first time we met or-“

“It was not love at first sight,” Monty argued but there was a smile in his eyes and the hint of a curve on his lips which gave Nate enough hope to live off of for the rest of his life.

“Maybe not,” Nate agreed, his thumbing brushing along Monty’s cheek. “But I did think I could. I thought, if I could make it work with anyone, if I could love anyone for the rest of my life, it would be someone like him. But then, I thought you were dating Jasper because he was super possessive and acted kind of jealous every time I talked to you.”

Monty reached up to curl his finger’s around Nate’s wrist and this time his smile wasn’t a suggestion, it was real and bright and warm. “I thought you were dating Harper but that’s because she kissed you.”

Nate swore. “I kept telling her to stop but she doesn’t listen to anyone, least of all me.”

Dropping his hands, Nate shifted his stance and he didn’t realize it looked like he was bracing for a blow, but Monty did so before Nate could say anything Monty cut in.

“I’m sorry, too.”

Nate blinked, surprised and a little thrown by Monty’s apology. “What are you apologizing for?”

“For being mad,” he shrugged. “Just because I say it doesn’t mean you’re required to say it back. I was well aware when we started dating you were a man of few words and if that includes the L word than it’s my job as someone who loves you to be okay with that.”

There was a rush of relief, like he hadn’t known an elephant had been sitting on his chest but now that it was gone he realized how heavy the weight was and how hard it had been to breathe. “I might not say it as much you want to hear it, but I’ll try my best to make sure you know it, every day. And if you need to hear it…and if you need to hear it, call me Nathan.”

Monty tilted his head as if he was thinking about it. “So if I say, ‘bye Nathan.’”

“I’ll say, ‘bye, I love you.’”

“And if I just say ‘bye?’”

“Then I’ll say be safe and it’ll mean the exact same thing.”

Monty leaned forward and kissed Nate, and Nate couldn’t help but hold tight, like this could still be taken from him.

And he supposed it could, if he didn’t do what he needed to do in order to keep the man he was beginning to realize he wanted to spend the rest of his life with.

Nate pulled back and rested his forehead against Monty’s.

“What are you doing in June?”

“Probably moving back home for the summer, why?”

“What if-what if instead of moving back in with your parents, you moved in with me?”

Monty’s eyes went wide but Nate could swear he saw a flash of something like hope in them. “That’s more than six months away, Nate. You don’t know how you’re going to feel in six months.”

“I’m pretty sure I do,” Nate argued. “Because I’m going to want you six hours from now and six years from now. I can’t promise it’s not going to be hard sometimes, and you’re going to have to corner me to get me to talk about the serious stuff but I can promise I’m going to be there for you when you need it. No conditions, no addendums. I’m yours, Monty, and I’ve never said that to anyone else.”

There was a pause as Monty reached down and wrapped his finger’s around Nate’s and as soon as he felt those fingers curl around his, Nate squeezed them.

“Would we move into your place or find a new one?”

“Literally whatever you want.”

He laughed and Nate grinned at the sound. “You like your place.”

“Yeah, but I like you more.”

Monty smiled like he’d just been given the rarest flower and the latest videogame which hadn’t yet been released to the public and it made Nate feel as if he was glowing from the achievement. “Maybe we could try it out for a couple of months and if it doesn’t fit we could find another place.”

“Yeah,” and Nate would be embarrassed if anyone else saw him getting choked up. “Yeah, we could definitely do that.”

“Okay.”

They stood there for a moment, just grinning at each other like idiots before Monty glanced at the clock on his computer. “I haven’t had dinner yet, did you want to go get something?”

Nate nodded and waited as Monty grabbed his coat, keys, and wallet. “I know this exclusive place which serves cold beer and really good steaks.”

Monty smiled as they stepped out of his dorm. “We’re going to your apartment, huh?”

Nate nodded with a grin as he pulled his beanie out of his back pocket and pulled it over his head. The sun was getting ready to set and the temperatures were going to drop quickly.

“We’ll stop by the grocery store on the way to pick up sides. I know you’re picky about your veggies.”

Monty’s smile softened as he slipped his hand back into Nate’s and the whole moment was so good, so exactly right, Nate was a little worried he wouldn’t remember it.

“You really do listen.”

Nate smirked as they reached his car. “It’s the benefit of not talking so much, you should suggest it to Jasper.”

As they got into the car, Monty was laughing.


End file.
